**RANT**

FULL FLEDGED WARNING!!! This post is a RANT post. So if you don't want to read it, don't! BUT I need to get these feelings out in the open. Today has been one of these days:

And I have officially felt like I've done both. I have cried. And been ticked off (to put it lightly). TO THE MAX.

I AM DONE BEING PREGNANT

Obviously not since I have not delivered a beautiful, sweet baby girl, but I am done. I am ready to be done. Here are a few things NOT to say to me right now:
1-Be patient, she will come when she is ready
2-It will be over soon
3-You will soon wish you could go back
4-Enjoy it while it lasts
5-It will all be worth it in the end
6-Quit wishing your life away and enjoy the ride
7-Quit being selfish, it's obviously not the right time
8-The longer she stays in, the healthier she will be.
9-At least you are pregnant
10- It's horrible you want to go earlier than your due date

YES I KNOW THAT THESE THINGS ARE TRUE. Seriously?! Who doesn't?! BUT that does not mean I want to hear them right now or that they help in any way. It fact, quite the opposite. It infuriates me even more.

Deric and I have talked extensively about this recently because it has really been bothering me. We have had a lot of family and friends say these things to us (me mostly) recently and although I know they mean well, it really irritates me. ESPECIALLY from people who have easy pregnancies and who have never even come close to experiencing what we have gone through. Not that I wish it upon anyone, but still. Don't try to act like you know everything when you don't. When you have had contractions basically non stop for 20+ weeks, have to get sitters for your kids because you can't take care of them, literally put your life on hold because you have to and have to have help getting out of bed, gaining 60+ pounds and can barely walk because you retain so much water you feel you pop (literally), go on IV's because you cant keep ANYTHING down,  THEN you can talk to me about being patient, selfish, etc for wanting to be done being pregnant.

Do I want my baby to be as healthy as possible? Of course I do. I would never WISH her to be unhealthy just so I could be more comfortable. BUT I am almost 38 weeks (mind you my last child was born at 37 weeks, was over 9 lbs and had NO health issues). We have been very blessed that way to have had very healthy babies. Does that mean Peyton will be as healthy? No it doesn't. But every test and precaution we have taken says she will be just fine. So is it bad that I'm ready to be done suffering? I really don't think so.

Don't get me wrong, I fully believe there is a reason that I have such difficult pregnancies. I honestly feel like I value motherhood WAY more because it is so hard for us to get babies here (for me personally, not everyone has to go through something hard to value being a mother). I have learned to value the ability to go for a walk, a trip to the park and yes, even the grocery store. I have learned to depend upon my husband for physical limitations (like getting out of bed in the morning) as well as a more emotional and spiritual connection because we HAVE to rely upon each other. I value friendship and those who TRULY care vs those who make face. I have seen more service given to me during my pregnancies that at any other time. My relationship with my Heavenly Father has grown although I lose faith sometimes too.  I have learned the value of taking care of your body during pregnancy and when you aren't pregnant. Bodies are freaking amazing, we should do everything we can to take care of them. I have learned to depend upon other people. (which is often hard for me-I love being independent). I have learned the value of a fetal kick. It's a precious feeling that a lot of women don't get to experience. ... AND SO MUCH MORE!

In short, please know that I am hormonal and have basically embraced being a massive WITCH with a capital "B" until this baby comes. I don't like it and yes I try to change it but unfortunately it is me right now. Is it ok, to have an excuse to be this way? No it's not. I'm not trying to use it as an excuse but rather a warning :)  I am in constant pain, constantly tired, emotions constantly rolling and ready. So please... keep this in mind:

Or say a few of those other previously mentioned things and then understand why I'm cranky! :)

Pregnancy update

Baby P is growing right along! I had another appointment today and am officially dilated to a 4! Dr W is thinking maybe this week or next we will be welcoming this little miss into our home. We are still hoping to wait a while yet as I'm only 35 weeks right now (36 on Thursday). I still think she is going to make it at least until the 27th! :) I need to win that bet!!

How I've been feeling:
-Honestly: pretty miserable
-MASSIVE hip pain
-Heartburn is getting a little worse and is horrid if I forget to take my vitamins
-Tired
-Morning sickness is back..bleh
-Love feeling her move but she is super low so it's weird
-some swelling and retaining water
-holding on to about 30-35 lbs total weight gain
-amazing blood pressure
-anxious to meet our little one
-anxious for labor and delivery
-ready to not be feeling contractions

That's it for now! We are getting super excited!

Another update!

Went to the dr today for my weekly visit and I'm dilated some more! Miss Peyton is getting closer and closer to coming! :) I'm getting more and more excited. As I'm getting her clothes organized in the dresser and trying to find room in my small house for everything, I'm realizing how close it is actually getting! YAY! :) Doctor W thinks there is a super good chance she will be here this month. I have dropped a little more from last week and effaced more as well so progress is definitely being made.

On Sunday we made "bets" or guesses as to when we think she will make her debut. It was kind of fun to see what the boys think. Deric guessed Oct 24th, I guess Oct 27th, Kyler guessed Nov 1, Bryson guessed Halloween and Ryker... well.. we just didn't count his! :) It was a fun little game we played. I'm excited to be just about to the point where she can come anytime. I'll be 36 weeks on Thursday. WAHOO! Getting closer all the time. I just hope this week and subsequent weeks go by fast.. last week was a killer for me! I hated it!

Anyways.. here are a few pictures for your enjoyment! :) The top is Ryker's first "selfie" he took by himself. And the bottom is of our little Miss Peyton. Hard to see but it's of her face! She kinda looks like she is going to have a big nose.. hope not!

Alot going on... IN NEED OF SOME OPINIONS!

A lot and nothing has been going on lately in the lives of the Wintertons.. I figured it's time for an update! :) As you can see in a random assortment of iphone pictures.. we have some interesting times around here. Kyler lost a tooth and will lose his front two teeth here shortly, we spend lots of time cuddling in bed watching movies, taking interesting selfies, wrestling with dad as much as possible and making lots of forts! We have officially moved all 3 boys into one room to make room for baby P to come soon, Kyler started Kindergarten and LOVES it (except the homework), Bryson started preshool with Miss Jeri and it was the best thing I ever did (put him in a year early), we attempted to go shopping at Lowes and ended up in a motorized cart (dang contractions wouldn't corporate) we've had a lot movie days, snuggling, fort building, book reading, etc trying to keep baby  P from coming too early. On that note...

PREGNANCY UPDATE:
-I will be 34 weeks tomorrow (Wahoo!)
-officially 8 more days until we can technically deliver here if we need to. ( I don't think we have to worry about it) My gut feeling is she will wait at least 3 more weeks before coming.
-I am dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced.
-I have a scheduled appointment every Monday until she comes.
-She is head down and engaged.. ready to come whenever
-At my last appointment, Dr W did an ultrasound and checked her lungs and they are developing ahead of schedule which is great IF she decides to come a little early
-I'm pretty sure I have everything we need for her clothes wise.. except for socks....
-I haven't retained too much water-yet
-My weight is increasing a significant amount (I'm at about 30 lbs gained now)
-I'm getting more and more excited for her to come!

OPINIONS:
Here's where I need some opinions/feedback... I have been reading a lot of things lately about vaccinations, etc and I'm seriously debating NOT letting people who aren't vaccinated around P until she is a little older. But here is my big hang up... I KNOW and believe it is a personal decision whether or not people get vaccinated and that's ok. I can agree to disagree. However, there are a number of people in Deric's family who don't vaccinate and I don't want them to get offended or insulted if I chose to go this way. I really don't want hard feelings but are hard feelings worth the health risk of my baby.. especially if she comes a little early? How do you have that conversation with people without them getting offended? I just feel like now that my kids are in school, they already bring home so many germs, plus it's cold season, etc so shouldn't I do everything I can to protect against it? (I'm particularly worried about whooping cough and RSV) I would LOVE any opinions and/or thoughts on the subject as long as they are kind and openminded in the sense that I don't want it to be a hash off :)