One of the longest days...

Yesterday was one of the longest days...first it started off with both boys having well-child check ups in the morning. (which I scheduled so Deric could take them, however he didn't want to go by himself-such a pansy! :) )So I attempted to go with them. It was at 9 so I figured I could probably handle it since mornings are usually a little better and we probably wouldn't have to wait long. While we were there, we had the Dr. check out Bryson's ribs. -We noticed a few weeks ago, that one side of his ribs curves inward instead of outward-and we found out that he has a deformity that he was probably born with. Right now, we aren't doing anything, we just have to watch it as he grows and if it doesn't grow with him, we will have to do surgery to fix it. But most likely, that won't happen. It doesn't hurt or harm him right now so that's good.

Kyler woke up with a little cough but at the appointment the dr said everything was fine, probably just the weather change and nothing to big. So we all got flu shots and the boys got caught up on their immunizations.

We came home and day went as usual, until I realized I hadn't felt Ryker move since about 8:30 that morning and my contractions were pretty strong. I placed a call to my dr and he suggested I go in to labor and delivery. So I checked in and they monitored me. Of course, Ryker just needed an audience I guess cause he was super active and everything looked fine. So I got sent home

Then Deric and I both decided we didn't feel like cooking, so we decided to attempt to go out to eat-WORST decision! But we went to the restaurant and by then  my contractions had gotten about 10 times worse and were about every 7-8 minutes. As soon as our food arrived, we boxed it up and came home. Great night out, right? ha ha so I spent the rest of the night just relaxing on the couch and in bed. Luckily with medication, my contractions slowed down enough I could sleep somewhat.

Until Kyler woke us up in the middle of the night with a high fever and feeling pretty miserable. So we have been doing that today! :) Fun fun stuff!

And in all this chaos or whatever you want to call it, how great is it to think of how important and miraculous it is that I have these 2 gorgeous boys (soon to be 3) and how much I love them. I'm so marveled to think that my Heavenly Father entrusts them to me and Deric to be their parents. Oh how I love them!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYSON!

Today is my sweet baby boy's birthday! Although he is not so "babyish" anymore. I can't believe Bryson is 2 today! I know 2 doesn't seem like that old and it's really not, but we feel like he has been in our family always!

I remember a few things about his birth day. I went in for a regular dr appointment (he was due on the 24th) and was having a lot of contractions. Dr. Williams took pity on me and said "let's have this baby today". ha I was SO ready to be done! So I went and got checked in to labor and delivery around 10 and he was born later that afternoon. You can read his birth story if you really want to. I do remember that his was a BREEZE compared to Kyler's and that it was a day before my last final. Anyway, we are so happy to have him in our family!

Some things about Bryson:
-He is a CLIMBER
-He is definitely proving to be defiant and has his own way of doing things
-He loves  to wrestle and is tougher than Kyler
-He loves anything to do with pigs and his such an outdoorsman
-He has the cutest little cheeser you will ever see
-Talks ALL the time
-Still wakes up alot at night (oh boy!)
-Loves to follow and do everything that Kyler does
-Thinks he is the best thing in the world! :)

Funny story about Bryson while I'm thinking about it. So since his birthday is so close to Christmas, we have presents under our tree. (Thank goodness for the gate this year!!!) Anyway, I wasn't feeling good last night so I told Deric to wrap Bryson's b-day present for me but we didn't have anything but Christmas wrapping paper, so I told him just to wrap it inside out. However, he didn't listen. He also didn't listen when I said to put it up high so he could be home when Bryson opened it (Thursdays are his early days so he is gone well before the boys wake up). Anyway, I wake up to the boys yelling "PRESENTS!!!" And I hear wrapping paper being torn. I immediately thought "ooh crap... they got to the ones under the tree" and I come running out of my room. I come to see Bryson TEARING his b-day present open and Kyler trying to climb the gate to get the other ones out. ha ha I then had to go on to explain that it was Bryson's birthday-not Christmas. My poor 4 year old could understand why it was wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper like the other ones. Nor could he understand why only Bryson got a gift. Needless to say, it was a rough morning for Kyler. But Bryson LOVED his little stuffed puppy dog that he got and he loved blowing out the candle in his special birthday pancake even more. Oh how much I love these boys! :)

Anyway, here are some pictures:

Just thoughts

So I'm sitting here at home in my beloved recliner ( I practically LIVE in this thing) and I was reading my scriptures and conference talks in the Ensign and I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense of comfort and joy at the simple thought that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know this may seem silly as we are taught this from day one in nursery and even before then at home, but sometimes I seem to forget this simple truth. I get caught up in my life and my situation and I get on this soap box sort of thing where I just feel like no one understands and life just sucks. I have been feeling that  a bit lately.

Struggling with the knowledge that I have to learn to accept help right now. Knowing that I can't take care of my children and family like I feel like I should be able to. Even though life seems to be "difficult" at the moment, I am so incredibly blessed! For me, it has always taken me a moment or two to really take a step back and recognize this when life seems to get difficult.

Today is one of those days. Honestly, I don't know how to explain the incredible feeling that I have in my heart knowing that my Heavenly Father truly knows and understands my thoughts and feelings right now and that he loves me unconditionally. Such a great comfort this brings to me right now!

Just wanted to say that I know the gospel is true! I know my Heavenly Father loves me and understands me and that he wants me to succeed in life-in all different aspects! I LOVE this knowledge!

O Christmas tree

 Okay so I'm a slacker on the picture taking aspect right now, but this is what I have of us decorating our little tree! :) Kyler LOVED it and would only put on the blue and green bulbs (they're boy colors of course) and only in a specific spot/side of the tree. Bryson just thought it was cool to have lots of "balls". haha and... now.. 3/4 of them are gone because Bryson realized he could take them off and chew on them so now I have a massive baby gate surrounding my tree which works great! (If you don't have one, you should totally invest in one). And I was in the process of sewing a tree skirt but that has since been put on hold as well. Not that it matters, you can't see it with presents there. Anyway, I LOVE this time if year!

Kyler's friend party

 We did a "friend" party for Kyler this year.. thank goodness for Shelby and Lindsay who  helped me out. Kyler wanted a Toy Story party so we did very simple stuff. But I think the kids had fun anyway.

 Decorating "buzz lightyear" rocketships

 Playing with balloons

 pinning body parts onto Mr. Potatoe Head

 The group

 Blowing out the candle on his cupcake

 Opening presents

 I attempted my first "star cake" for his family party on Sunday. It turned out ok, not the greatest, but not horrible either

Blowing out the candles on Sunday.


I think he had a great birthday-we sure do love him! :)

Holly Days

 I didn't get very good pictures but Deric's sister did-and... she lost her camera. ha ha anyway, this is what you get. We went with Deric's family to Holly Days in Vernal the day after Thanksgiving. My kiddos fell asleep on the way over and Kyler slept probably 90% of the time. Bryson woke up and was just in a daze most of the time. When we got there, Shanae (Deric's sis) wanted to take her son to ride the camel but there was a big line.. .lucky for us, Deric's other sister, Naomi, was just about to get to ride so we cheated and rushed our kids to her kids to take. Bryson bawled!! He HATED it! haha it was funny!

 Then he was SO insistent on riding the "horsees" even though he hated the camel, so Deric took him... and he BAWLED!

And BAWLED.... ha ha silly boy. We just went and got hot chocolate and popcorn and then went home.

And so it continues...

And so it continues... the bedrest that is... only more so now. I was doing/feeling pretty decent for the last few weeks and OBVIOUSLY doing more than I was supposed to. This past weekend, I told Deric I was worried for my doctor appointment on Monday because I felt like I had dillated (before my cervix was starting to soften, but no dillation yet) and sure enough, yesterday, the dr confirmed it. I am almost dilated to a 2 which is no good cause I'm only 30 weeks. Now, yes, I do know that women stay at a certain dilation or whatever for weeks on end, however, my case is a little different. I have NEVER stayed at a dilation for more than a week and where I'm only 30 weeks and have been having contractions for quite some time, the dr is pretty sure that now that I'm started, my body won't stop.

So... I went to labor and delivery and got monitored for a while yesterday to make sure I wasn't in active labor and then was sent home with STRICT orders to be down. 2 small kiddos... doesn't equal great down time.

My dr predicted that I will be having this baby in Salt Lake. I'm determined to prove him wrong. I have to make it to 35 weeks to have the baby here in town. On Jan 2 I will be 35 weeks exactly. We are trying hard to make it to that date. But honestly, I'm scared. Oh so freakin scared. My contractions are getting worse and I can feel my body changing (if you've had a baby, you'll understand that part). I'm SO done with being pregnant, but not because it's way too early for our little Ryker to make his debut. If I can't get my body to slow down, the dr said he will not hesitate to send me to the city to be on bedrest there. Part of me thinks that would be great-in the sense that I would be forced to stay down which would hopefully mean Ryker would bake a little longer. The other part of me is so terrified because I don't want to leave my family and let's be honest, I am often afraid of the unknown.

Deric thinks we should send our boys to day care or arrange sitters for most of the day. It breaks my heart to think I can't take care of them. I'm not ready to submit to that quite yet. We are going through this week by week, day by day. With my history in this area, my dr is extremely concerned and we are terrified. I'm trying to have faith that my Heavenly Father will guide and assist our family as we need him to. I just want to have control! Plus, this is the craziest, busiest time of the year-for EVERYONE. We have been SO blessed to have people in our ward family and our other friends to bring us meals and offer to watch our kiddos on occasion. And i honestly don't know what I do without Deric's parents. They come and help me every Monday night when Deric is in class and then when he has class every other Tuesday, they come and take them for a few hours while Deric is gone. Serious blessings here people. I'm SO blessed. And in all of this, I have had to learn to accept help and assistance because honestly, it's not just for me. This is for my family and for this new baby we are trying to bring into the world. But it's still hard. I've never been too good at accepting help.

Anyway, lots of random things here... just keep us in prayers please! More for comfort than anything. I'm just so dang paranoid and nervous!

5 years!!

It's true people... Deric and I have been married and sealed together for 5 years! haha For some reason, I always thought that sounded like a "long time" but really it's not. :) I feel like Deric has been a huge part of my life for forever (and he has for quite some time of it-considering we met when I was 13).

I LOVE this man SO incredibly much! He has been my best friend for a long time and I'm so blessed to be able to spend my life and eternity with him!

We didn't do anything too fun for our anniversary considering I can't do much, in fact, we ended up having Kyler's "friend" birthday party, going to dinner with his mom and dad and brother and sister and heading to Lowes to buy him a saw :) Then I was contracting and in pain all night long.. but.. Deric's parents kept the boys overnight so at least I was able to sleep in a bit in the morning.

                                                               Engagement

                                                        Honeymoon in Moab

                                                       another engagement


Here's to many more years together!!

Special Thoughts about Kyler

Today is Kyler's 4th birthday. And as tradition goes in my family, I love to recall the happenings of his birthday and the thoughts I have about him. He is such a special boy. I sincerely love him with all my heart. There is nothing that can replace your firstborn child and the special bond you have with them. After all, we did a lot of "firsts" together. First time being pregnant, first time feeling him move inside of me, first time in labor and deliver, first time breast feeding, first time mom, first time for a broken bone, first time going to school, etc. Can you get where I'm going with this? I often think about Kyler and how sometimes I feel like I'm a little rough on him, I expect too much out of him, etc, but he is the example to the rest of his siblings and I can definitely see that now with Bryson. Him and I are definitely learning together and as we learn together, we definitely go through some difficult and hard times, but funny and joyous times as well.

I can recall his whole labor story (as I remember it today) or you can read it here as I wrote it back in 2008. Although it isn't very detailed. Then a year later, I recalled it in more detail which you can read here. I'm blaming the "new mom" syndrome where you don't sleep any and let's be honest, it was a rough go at things from the beginning with Kyler (starting with labor). His pregnancy, on the other hand was great (other than the MASSIVE amounts of vomiting in the beginning).

Anyway, one thing I remember for sure from Kyler's birth was how miraculous it was. I was just talking to my sister in law, Aisha, the other day about how, in my opinion, there is no greater spiritual experience in the world than giving birth. Kyler was a great spiritual example from the beginning. See, most everyone knows this, but I'll write it anyway (journaling purposes). When Deric and I got married we had planned on waiting until I finished my Bachelor's before starting a family. A few short months after we were married, to our complete surprise and dismay, the Lord told us otherwise. We both came out of the temple that day (and I remember it so clearly and perfectly) with the same expression to say to the other and these words were spoken "I need to talk to you". We both had some very spiritual experiences and the Lord basically told us we were not to be preventing conception. Next month, I was pregnant.And Kyler was on his way....however excited we were, we were also terrified! And some of our family members weren't too thrilled. It was rough convincing people (which why should we have to convince people) that it was the Lord's plan and not ours. This was one of those experiences that I can say, without a doubt, the Lord intervened and I knew without a doubt this little boy was supposed to be in our family.

But although he started out in a spiritual sense, his birth is something I will never forget. The most spiritual experience I had ever had at that time of my life. I couldn't believe that my Heavenly Father would trust me with one of his children-an adorable one at that!

Not to our surprise, Kyler has been a special addition to our family. We love him more than anything and treasure each day we are together. Here are a few things about Kyler:

-He LOVES preschool and learning
-Such a good helper
-Such a loving person-always looking out for others
-has a little bit of a temper (we're working on that)
-says the sweetest prayers ever
-favorite color is green
-favorite food currently is bread with nutella

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KY! We love you!!

Halloween

I LOVE holidays-especially since I have kids! :) I think the innocence and joy that children bring to holidays is so fun! anyway, I brought the halloween costume tote out like a month in advance and my boys LOVED playing dress up with all the costumes...but Kyler just couldn't decide which one he wanted to be, until I found a Woody from Toy Story costume on line and then he was hooked... only problem was... so was Bryson. So, they fought over the costume EVERY day so I had to put it away until the actual Halloween day. I even bought a Buzz Lightyear costume to try and convince Kyler to be Buzz (bigger size) and Brys to be Woody but it didn't work. So we ended up with a dinosaur and Woody.

Kyler had a blast at his preschool party and I learned a big lesson in being a mom: sometimes you just can't control things and sometimes we miss our kids' activities-even when we don't want to. See, I drop Kyler off and he was SO thrilled and excited for his special day and to show all his friends his costume. When I go to pick him up (mind you I'm 5 minutes early) ALL the other moms/parents are there. I ask one of my friends if I'm late and she informs me that they had a parent halloween party/parade at the end of the day. I find Kyler and low and behold he is bawling... because I'm the ONLY mom that wasn't there! (Oh so dramatic for a 3 year old) But what he doesn't quite understand is that I didn't know a thing about it. we had missed the previous day of preschool because we went to Holden, so I didn't get the memo. He was sad he didn't get to hand out candy to all his friends and that his mom didnt get to see the parade. Ya, I pretty much bawled my eyes out too... and called my mom and Deric and bawled to them to. I felt horrible. I kept blaming myself even though I knew it was something that was out of my control-I simply wasn't informed about it. And I vowed that I will do my best to participate in anything and everything I can with my children's lives for the rest of my life.




The next day (actual Halloween) I hosted play group at my house and since it was a holiday... I wanted to make it something special. So we made "monster boogers" aka Gak which the boys decided to call Frankenstein boogers (gross I know) but they LOVED it and had such a fun time playing with it. We did some orange rice krispies and got to make our own creations and then they just played. It's so good that my boys have other children to play with on a regular basis. 

But.. the boys loved the ward trunk or treat. I stayed in the car and handed out candy while Deric walked them around. I was hurting and contracting like crazy so I was trying to take it easy and then we left to take them to a few houses (grandma and grandpa, etc). I was pretty sure I was about to die. So we came home, Grandma and Grandpa Winterton actually came trick or treating to our house and gave the boys candy. Kyler was so upset that that's not how it's supposed to go. Oh silly boy. We were all pretty wiped out by then, so we went to bed. And... Deric and I debated going to the hospital. My contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart and coming strong and the medication wasn't helping. Luckily priesthood power did the trick! Oh how grateful I am for the power of the priesthood!!

Experimenting

The boys were getting SO frustrated watching movies all day with me being on bedrest. I was feeling super guilty so decided to do some experiments one night! :) Dad joined us for the last few. Some were great and the boys loved them, others didn't work out. We did some mystery baking soda and vinegar, puffy paint, exploding volcanoes and some sticky strings :) Overall, the boys had a blast, even Bryson. Glad we got to do something a little fun for once! And besides a little mess, didn't stress me out too bad!