Day 13

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.... I'm not going to lie, this one is a bit difficult for me. There has been some people in my life that have really hurt me on almost a constant basis and although I have tried to be the more Christlike person, I often find it difficult but very humbling.

Dear hurtful,

We have known each other for quite some time now and although that time has been good, it has also been full of pain and grief-lots of misery. I have often cried to myself after being around you and I have cried to others but no one can know the hurt deep inside that I feel. You often say mean things, make me feel inadequate and worthless. But I have found a new sense of direction. Instead of focusing on your words and actions, I have now chosen to disregard them. I don't care if you think Im ugly, un social or unworthy of my blessings. I don't care if you find me irritable, irresponsible and degrading. I am who I am. My Heavenly Father made me and as I learned a long time ago-he doesn't make mistakes. I can form myself into the woman I want to be. I have my free agency. I now walk with my head held high and full of confidence. Next time you say a mean thing, I will simply chose to let it bounce right off of me-unaffected. I often wonder and feel sorry for you-sorry for the fact that you feel like you have to be hurtful and mean to others in order to feel good about yourself and I challenge you. I challenge you to search deep within and find that special spark that our Heavenly Father gave you, because just like me, he loves you too. It's hard to forgive and forget what you've put me through but I'm trying and that's all I can offer. I can't offer a complete love that I want to feel for you. I can't offer understanding or compassion. Someday I hope to, today is not that day.

So for me, I am saying goodbye. Goodbye forever. No more will I be hurt and degraded by your thoughts of me! I am of WORTH!

I think this was actually a very good thing for me to write down. It may not make sense to anyone but me and obviously there is alot to it. Alot more I would like to write and say but now is not the time or place to do so. I am trying. And trying is what's important. It often takes lots of time, healing and humbling before we can feel complete peace. Someday I hope to reach that peace with this person and I believe I will.... as long as I keep trying.